At a recent trip to Trader Joe’s, the cashier felt the need to comment on all of my groceries.
“Woah, you sure do like quinoa!”
“Yep.”
“I mean, you got two kinds in here!”
WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM? CAN’T A GIRL HAVE SOME QUINOA?? ONE TYPE FOR BREAKFAST AND ONE TYPE FOR DINNER? LAY OFF, DUDE!
“Yep. Sure do.”
“And quinoa chips! Woah! Wait, those look pretty good.”
“Yeah, they are.”
“I gotta get some of those.”
“You should.”
“Woah, that’s a ton of kale!”
“Yep.”
“I can’t stand that stuff!”
“Well, I guess it depends how you cook it.”
“Naw, I don’t like anything like that. I hate most vegetables.”
silence.
“Hey, looks like someone’s baking something!”
“Yes.”
“I love sweets.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“What are you gonna make?
I’M GONNA BAKE COOKIES OKAY?? COOKIES!!! VEGAN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! I’M GONNA BAKE THEM BY MYSELF AND THEN CRY ALL ALONE WATCHING SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE AND THEN DRY MY TEARS WITH SACKS OF FLOUR OKAY???? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
“cookies.”
“cool. Hey, aren’t you in a commercial?”
“no.”
“yeah you are! I know you’re in a commercial!”
NO I’M NOT IN A FREAKING COMMERCIAL STOP RUBBING MY FACE IN IT!!!!!
“nope.”
As I leave I overhear him saying to the next customer:
“Woah-ho! We got some broccoli up in here!”
image from wikipedia
Seven Deadly Sins 
