Vanity: Birthday Beauty Buys!

So….I had a birthday!  Yay me!  This year, I decided to buy myself a birthday present (you guys do that too, right?). Ok, I bought a few birthday presents, but oh well.  It’s my birthday!  Anyway, I bought some seriously good stuff that I just had to share with you guys!

1. MAKE UP FOREVER ROGUE ARTIST INTENSE #40

Seriously the most perfect shade of orange. It looks mostly red in the photo, but trust me, it’s quite orange. This will definitely be my new shade for summer. It doesn’t dry your lips out, but isn’t too shiny.  It also stays on really well, but doesn’t get all over your face. $19 at Sephora

2. ESSIE NAIL LACQUER IN MEET ME AT SUNSET

This one actually wasn’t a birthday present.  I just picked it up at Target last time I was there. It’s a great red-orange shade.  (as you can see, this is clearly the summer of orange…get it? Like summer of George?? No Seinfeld fans? …Ok.)  It goes great with everything. $7.79 at Target

3. JOSIE MARAN ARGAN CLEANSING OIL

This is the GREATEST facial cleanser I’ve ever used. (and I’ve tried them all!) I struggle with skin that is very dry in some areas, then breaks out in others, and I have never found anything that truly balanced it out until now. (HALLELUJAH!) I have long been a believer in argan oil and have used it as a moisturizer, but the cleansing oil is perfect because it makes my skin feel clean, but doesn’t remove all the natural oils, which makes my skin produce less oil. Also, argan oil is known for repairing damage and fighting aging, and I’m all about that. $32 at Sephora (but it’s a huge bottle!)

4. JOSIE MARAN ARGAN DAILY MOISTURIZER

Before I bought the big bottle of the cleansing oil, I bought a mini size of each from Sephora $20 for the cleanse & protect duo.  I highly recommend this if you are curious and want to try it out! The moisturizer is very light, smells great, and has SPF 40. So, it’s pretty much perfect.

Wrath: Adult Onesies

Whyyyyyy, Target, WHYYYYYY?! I can’t believe my number one store has let me down yet again. This time is even more disgraceful than the overalls debacle. This is far, far worse. I’m talkin about the adult onesie. The buyers for Target thought modern consumers would walk in, see a display of grown-up sized fleece one piece footed pajamas (WITH a butt flap!!) and not only be pleased to have found such a magnificent garment, but that they would also be delightfully surprised to see that they come in an assortment of colors.

Oh, dear.

I don’t understand why clothes have become so unbearably uncomfortable that we can’t sit still in them except when in polite company (and maybe not even then!). Now, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t purchase a Snuggie. I did. But in my defense, it was leopard print, and no one saw me in it! (and it was soooooo comfy). But I draw the line when it comes to dressing like a newborn. The only thing this product is missing is a pacifier and a big box of Depends. Grow up and throw on some old sweatpants like the rest of us self-respecting adults (diaper optional).

Wrath: Overall Dealers

Sometimes people wear things that are visually assaulting. You may see people wearing such items and have to resist the urge to backhand them across the face. I completely understand. I’ve been there. And while I’d like to blame the wearer/buyer of these garments, the reality is that there are enablers out there who are actually designing, manufacturing, and selling this garbage. Don’t you see people wearing these things and you think, “Where did they even buy that crap? Who actually makes these things?”  Well, it seems we’ve found an answer to at least one of these questions:

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Who the crap sells overalls? Not only overalls, but overalls with a little pre-made wear and tear (note the right knee) and a medium wash with some whiskered detail?  And, who actually goes into a store, sees this display, and thinks, “OMG this is exactly what I’ve been looking for??

Ok, yes, the guys from Swamp People seem to always be in need of a fresh pair of overalls, but I’ll let them have a pass on this one because I don’t think anyone wants to take a chance of having their jeans slip down giving us a view of their coin slot.

I am sad to admit that this horrific display of one of the biggest fashion mistakes in the history of denim was found at one of my favorite stores: Target.

It’s sad, but true. Target is an enabler in one of the saddest fashion catastrophes of our time. They’re helping to perpetuate family photos like this one:

and this one:

Yes, that is my family and me, and yes, we are wearing overalls…but hey, it was the 90s and we didn’t know any better!

The point is: Target, I’m disappointed in you. You better straighten up.